Don't Mention the War! by Stewart Ferris, Paul Bassett

By Stewart Ferris, Paul Bassett

Persist with the authors on their most up-to-date morally reprehensible journey busking round Europe. adventure the fatigue, the smells and the full loss of appreciation of the cultural pearl, whereas they exhibit how to not signify their country whilst overseas.

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This appeared to be perfectly acceptable behaviour to the tart behind the counter, who chatted politely to the peasant while rudely ignoring me. I wasn’t sure whether it was age, ignorance or arrogance that gave peasants the right to push in front of people, or maybe just being French sufficed, but I calmly accepted my social demotion to sub-peasant status and waited for the stodgy old prune to piss off. 41 DON’T MENTION THE WAR! Once more at the front of the queue (although only because I was the only one in it) I surveyed the options on the glass shelves around the room: a couple of burnt croissants; a small pile of dry bread; and some nasty, sticky pastries decorated with dead flies.

First he would hold one end of the grass to the jack and then pinch the stalk between his thumb and forefinger. Then he would look up to me all doe-eyed as if to say ‘see, that’s how far my ball is away’.

I pulled the vest over my head, tied the cord around my waist as I had seen demonstrated on every flight I had ever been on, and slipped back into the water. ‘Let it off underwater,’ urged Alastair who was around that time being inspired by the bravery and courageous acts recounted in Wilbur Smith novels. I swam down around six feet, wedged myself between two submerged rocks to prevent my buoyant love-handles from lifting me 30 ROUTE NAPOLEON to the surface, and turned to face the surface. I could see four faces peering through the rippled surface.

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